I Hate To Do This, But It's Too Ridiculous To Ignore

Paris Hilton is on a quest to sober up elephants. If only she would spend more time sobering herself. If she thinks drunk elephants are dangerous, maybe she should realize how dangerous it is to be driving a car while intoxicated.

GAUHATI, India - Paris Hilton is being praised by conservationists for highlighting the problem of binge-drinking elephants in northeastern India. Activists said a celebrity endorsement such as Hilton's was sure to raise awareness of the plight of the pachyderms that get drunk on farmers' homemade rice beer and then go on a rampage. "The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them," the 26-year-old socialite said in a report posted on World Entertainment News Network's Web site. Her comments were picked up by other Web sites and newspapers around the globe. Last month, six wild elephants that broke into a farm in the state of Meghalaya were electrocuted after drinking the potent brew and then uprooting an electricity pole. "There would have been more casualties if the villagers hadn't chased them away. And four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. It is just so sad," Hilton was quoted as saying in Tokyo last week. She was in Tokyo to judge a beauty contest.

 

***UPDATE 11/14/07 12:45AM***

Apparently the AP was punked. Hilton's PR person said she never uttered those words.