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Sunday, April 29, 2007

Terrorist Idol

I love it

Forget "American Idol"; each week we could put together an episode of "Terrorist Idol," showcasing the most insipid examples of the defeat-retreat-surrender antics from the apologists on the Left who believe we should only fight terrorism with appeasement and contrition.

Now, I present to you the contestants for the first-week pilot.

Contestant 1: Harry Reid performing 'Born to Run'

The debut week of "Terrorist Idol" would certainly have to feature the Democrat Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, who led the push to cut off funding of U.S. troops fighting al-Qaida and their aligned terrorist allies in Operation Iraqi Freedom.

With over 100,000 U.S. troops currently serving in harm's way, Reid not only orchestrated the move to cut off funding for our troops, but he announced to America's enemies that they had won.

Reid told the American people last Thursday, "I believe ... that this war is lost."

It would be fitting for Sen. Reid to perform Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run" for the first week of "Terrorist Idol," lamenting the struggles faced in Baghdad:

Baby, this town rips the bones from your back
Its a death trap, its a suicide rap
We gotta get out while were young
`cause tramps like us, baby, we were born to run

Contestant 2: John Walker Lindh performing 'Damn Cold Night'

Suleyman Al-Faris is a name not known to many. That's why when he competes in the high-stakes challenge of "Terrorist Idol" you can bet that the Taliban jihadist, Al-Faris, will use his American name: John Walker Lindh.

Lindh's name is back in the news now that his parents are asking President Bush to reduce or commute his 20-year sentence.

Lindh, you'll recall, fled the United States to become a jihadist, training at a Pakistani madrassa before heading to Afghanistan to serve the Taliban – the regime that played host to Osama bin Laden's al-Qaida terrorist network. Lindh hooked up with al-Qaida and swore allegiance to jihad, the holy war against the enemies of Islam.

Lindh was captured in the battle for Tora Bora, one of the bloodiest battles in Afghanistan, where CIA agent Johnny Micheal Spann was killed – the first American casualty in Operation Enduring Freedom.

But as part of the anti-war left's revisionist campaign that downplays the support rogue nation's like Iraq and Afghanistan provided to Islamic terrorist groups, many are rallying to Lindh's cause, asking for compassion for the man who came to be known as the "American Taliban."

I'm sure Lindh could steal the thunder of the other competitors with a rendition of Avril Lavigne's "Damn Cold Night," as he whines about the treatment he received upon being captured in Afghanistan:

I'm lookin' for a place,
I'm searchin' for a face,
Is anybody here I know,
Cause nothin's goin right,
And everything's a mess,
And no one likes to be alone.

Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?

It's a damn cold night,
Tryin' to figure out this life

Contestant 3: Rosie O'Donnell performing 'They're Coming to Take Me Away'

Now we can understand why Rosie O'Donnell announced that she was leaving "The View" and looking for a new TV gig – she was just clearing time in her schedule to make regular appearances on "Terrorist Idol."

Television's "Queen of Mean" has become so volatile in her public pronouncements, and absurd in her anti-American conspiracies, that one has to wonder if Rosie's been mixing medications.

Rosie first announced to millions of ABC viewers that: "Radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America. …"

That statement is bad enough on its face, but when you consider that to Rosie a Catholic school girl is probably a "radical Christian" it's even worse.

Rosie next expressed sympathy for the Iranians after they took 15 British sailors hostage, saying they weren't being given a fair shake in the media coverage of a crisis that the Iranians themselves started.

"It's just, it's very hard in America when anyone from the Mideast has been so demonized that no matter what, it's impossible for some people to believe that the Iranians in any way could ever do anything ethical in any capacity," Rosie stated.

Finally, Rosie went completely whacked out, suggesting that the 9-11 attacks we witnessed were really part of a conspiracy by the government to trick this nation into supporting war against Islamic terrorists.

Is there any other song that would be more fitting for Rosie to perform than Dr. Demento's "They're Coming to Take Me Away"?

You left me anyhow
And then the days got worse and worse
And now you see I've gone
Completely out of my mind, and ...

They're coming to take me away, ha ha
They're coming to take me away, ho ho hee hee ha ha
To the funny farm

Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they're coming to take me away, ha haaa!

One final thought on the new "Terrorist Idol" program. I wonder if Donald Trump might be available to fill the role of judge on the show's program?

By the time he would be done with Rosie O'Donnell, Simon Cowell would look like a big, fluffy pussycat.